As an example, I returned to Canada with a bamboo blowpipe acquired in the highland jungles of Malaysia. During my customs interrogation the officer asked "Did you know this blowpipe is a prohibited weapon?" He then read me my rights "You have a right to remain silent. Anything you say may be used against you" etc. etc. Jesus Christ! Is this what we pay taxes for?

The blowpipe was complete with wooden darts and wadding (an air seal) which was placed behind the darts before one blew into the pipe. The wadding was a shredded, green plant material. The suspicious customs officer immediately asked what it was used for. I told him but of course he didn't believe me. Later I was given a court summons even though the wadding had not been given a proper laboratory test for drugs. I was given the summons because it might contain drugs. The summons was therefore written without any specified offense. The results of a later drug test were negative. No doubt the officers were disappointed. These and other problems gave me an insight into the ugly and parasitic character of Canadian bureaucracies. And it's not over yet.

On sharing these experiences with friends and acquaintances it became evident that my unfortunate encounters with this government department were by no means unique. Others too complained of unwarranted and indefensible seizures, strip searches, invasions of privacy, fines, etc. These formed a common thread which linked many of the experiences of other citizens with Canada Customs. Realizing that taxpayers elsewhere have likely had similar experiences our Saskatoon based organization was formed for the purpose of enabling these citizens to share their views; a sharing which will hopefully lead to political change if not substantial change within this and perhaps other bureaucracies. CBC#2 proudly sponsors this electronic public forum - CANADA CUSTOMS BITCH BOX.

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Tel: (306) 343-9085

E-mail: bernjohn@sk.sympatico.ca

Oct. 8, 1996

To: Right Hon. Jean Chretien
Prime Minister
Parliament Building
Ottawa, ON
K1A 0A6

Mr. Allen Cocksedge
Asst. Deputy Minister
Customs Border Services Branch
Revenue Canada
Connaught Building
MacKenzie Ave.
Ottawa, ON
K1A 0L5

Mr. D. Brackett
Director General
Canadian Wildlife Service
Environment Canada
351, boul. St. Joseph 3e et
Hull, QC
K1A 0H3

Dear Sirs,

Probably few Canadians would agree totally on the question of what constitutes the proper roles of government. A related and equally contentious question is - how much government is enough? Perhaps it's like food. Too little leads to emaciation but too much also leads to dysfunction. Over the last two months I've formed some experientially based conclusions.

In the summer of 1994 I moved to Singapore where I had a two year contract to teach geography in an international high school. I recently returned to Saskatchewan. I left Canada because, like so many other Canadians, I could not, despite repeated efforts, find permanent employment. At the time I left, public perception of the federal government was poor and in the two year interim it seems to have worsened. Present cynicism ranges from "I don't bother to vote anymore" to "I'm retired now, but not by choice". Unemployment, the erosion of social programs, a rising crime rate, and other issues are clear causes of the disaffection. I'd like to offer an additional explanation for the apparent deterioration of public confidence in the Government of Canada.

During the last two years I travelled extensively over much of Eurasia. My passport reveals that I experienced a total of 71 border crossings into 16 countries. For a geographer the experience was exciting and for the most part pleasant. There was of course the unavoidable red tape of acquiring a few visas, but the fees were reasonable and the service was polite. Border crossings were uncomplicated and quick. Only twice was I even asked to open my baggage for a routine inspection. On my return to Canada this summer my first encounter with a government department was with Customs Canada. Welcome home!

When my shipment from Singapore arrived, it was held at the local customs office for what I am sure was a very thorough inspection. Three of my personal effects are still being detained. I'll briefly explain the official explanation for their seizure.

Like most other teachers I use a wide variety of teaching aids. These are essentially material goods which arouse student interest in the subject studied. In geography I have amassed a large collection of teaching aids which range widely from specimens of volcanic rock to aboriginal art. One of the most successful items in my collection is a bamboo blowpipe which I acquired in the tropical rain forest of peninsular Malaysia. While in Singapore I brought it into my classrooms, explained its function and let the kids, under my supervision, use it to blow wooden darts at a bull's eye on a cardboard box. When successful they usually squealed with youthful delight. It was a very effective teaching aid in introducing the study of the rain forest biome. It was one of the three items seized by Canada Customs as a "prohibited weapon." Incredible!

Like millions of other Canadians I legally own a large bore target rifle which could easily emasculate a Tyrannosaurus rex; but I cannot have in my possession a meter long section of bamboo. The absurdity should be evident. Clearly, the function of some items must be determined within a cultural or historic context; in some cases their original purposes are totally unimportant. Should we ban the importation of Italian crosses to Canadian churches as "prohibited instruments of torture"? In a Canadian setting my bamboo blowpipe is no more of a "weapon" than a section of copper tubing or a dart game. In this country an example of a real weapon would be the surface to air missile which reportedly killed 230 passengers on TWA Flight 800; the surface to air missile which was alleged to have entered North America through the port of Halifax, presumably through Canada Customs. In very sharp contrast my bamboo blowpipe is nothing more than a curiosity from the jungle. Understandably, it would be my last choice of arms if I chose to rob a bank.

The second set of confiscated teaching aids included two finger length specimens of dead coral. I used these as material examples of coral reef formations. Wave action washes up these dead corals, with often sharp and jagged surfaces, on the beaches of the 30,000+ islands that surround Southeast Asia. I acquired my samples on a tourist beach where they're daily raked off the sand to protect bather's feet. Under the circumstances, the removal of my specimens did not represent a real threat to the local environment. In fact, I've preached to my students the need to protect all of the components in the global ecosystem. I would not be so hypocritical as to take a sample from a living reef. Not even for the edification of students.

The last item seized from my shipment was a bear skin. This I purchased from a government-licensed trapper while teaching in northern Saskatchewan. I acquired it legally and offer the attached "Fur Export Permit" document as proof of my legitimate ownership. I don't use it as a teaching aid but rather as a mere wall decoration. For this use I make no apologies. Some other men hang Playboy centerfolds on their walls. Each to his own perversion.

This item was confiscated by the local wildlife branch--not because I'm an illegal game poacher, not because I'm involved in the illicit trade of bear gall bladders, not because I lack a fur export permit; but rather because I don't have still another accursed piece of paper which authorizes me to return it to the same province where it originated. Am I dreaming? Is this real? Can I not return it to a province where I can at this moment purchase a $17 license which is government authorization to legally kill a bear? Can the government reasonably expect citizens to know, or even suspect, that the bureaucratic hunger for pieces of paper has grown to such an insatiable level? If the bureaucrats argue that ignorance of the law is no excuse then certainly ignorance within the law is no more excusable. With thousands of bears illegally slaughtered in international trade each year, one would think that wildlife departments could better invest their time in apprehending the guilty rather than in confiscating what is likely the only legally obtained bear part to ever cross a Canadian border.

If the government is genuinely concerned about protecting the environment, it should give some thought to the number of Canadian trees that could be saved by eliminating, or at least limiting, its own bureaucracies' passion for paper. It should also give some thought to the number of tax dollars that could be saved. In this situation am I the recipient of those government "services" for which Canadians are more heavily taxed than most other industrial nations?

I am not arguing that all rules and regulations are unnecessary. Certainly not! Neither am I arguing that local officials are to blame: "I don't make the rules, I just enforce them." In fact, some local officers have been quite cooperative. The problem is clearly in Ottawa. Are the law makers so lacking in time and effort that they cannot provide exemptions in those circumstances where they're warranted? In formulating the laws, without having to deal with their consequences, are some bureaucrats intoxicated with their awesome power and assumed infallibility? Or worse yet, are they tyrannically indifferent to the public injustices their decrees might cause? If the rule makers make no provision for protecting the innocent, while chasing the guilty, the outcome will lead to a very real and dangerous threat to Canadian society. Much more dangerous than a bamboo blowpipe.

If the government cannot or will not deal with the more pressing problems of Canada, could it at least refrain from standing in the way of those who are trying to get on with their jobs and their lives? If it did, it might significantly check the downward slide of public trust. I would caution the government against the self deception that mine is a unique or even rare problem. Indeed it is not. In the aggregate, the effect of these cases of bureaucratic bumbling must cast public doubt on the ability of government to govern responsibly. Furthermore, the issue is much bigger than the personal injustices caused by government, however important these may be. At the heart of the matter is the shear size and power of the bureaucracies. If left unchecked they'll function as societal cancers, eventually consuming the system that supports them, with absolute predictability and probable indifference.

Lacking the financial means to carry on protracted courtroom battles against the resources of the federal government, I wish to petition your offices for help in retrieving the items mentioned above. For what I hope will be your assistance in this matter I remain,

Gratefully yours,

Dr. Bern Johnston

cc 22 letters to Canadian media,
9 letters to other gov't agencies,
5 letters to federal Members of Parliament,
5 letters to NGOs

Reply from Deputy Minister of Canada Customs

Reply from Chris Axworthy (NDP), MP

Court Summons Without Offense

Fur Export Permit

1324-14th St. E.
Saskatoon, Sk
S7H 0A7

Tel: (306) 343-9085

Email: bernjohn@sk.sympatico.ca

Nov. 12, 1996

To: Right Hon. Jean Chretien
Prime Minister
Parliament Building
Ottawa, ON
K1A 0A6

Mr. Allen Cocksedge
Asst. Deputy Minister
Customs Border Services Branch
Revenue Canada
Connaught Building
Mackenzie Ave.
Ottawa, ON
K1A 0L5

Dear sirs,

I would first like to thank Mr. Cocksedge for his letter dated Oct. 28, 1996. This letter was in response to my request to your joint offices for assistance in regaining possession of the items seized by Canada Customs on my return to Canada from Singapore. As you may recall these items included a bamboo blow pipe, bear skin, and coral specimens.

Unfortunately Mr. Cocksedge, I apparently failed in my initial correspondence to communicate my principal concern in this matter. Your letter was restricted to another statement of rules under the jurisdiction of Canada Customs. Other junior officers in your departments have also restricted their comments to merely defining the rules and regulations. The only somewhat veiled departure from this pattern was the single comment "I don't make the rules, I just enforce them". My major concern was, and remains, the obvious lack of justice and reasonableness in the rules and their application. The absence of justice and reasonableness in the rules and their application, is also the major concern of other people that have had similar experiences with Canada Customs. I recently spoke with a woman who told me that on her return from a holiday she forgot to declare two of the many items she had acquired abroad and was promptly stripped searched.

Canada's move into the 21st Century will certainly be attended by an ever increasing number of rules and regulations in each of our several bureaucracies. Perhaps there's an inherent tendency in bureaucracies to expand; in some cases for the convenience of the bureaucrats rather than in the best interests of the public. As citizens we see this trend as an extremely important concern and one which is already seriously eroding the foundations of Canadian democracy. Our problems are merely symptoms of a much deeper problem in government; a lack of sensitivity to the best interests of individual Canadians. In response, we have formed a local organization - Committee on Bureaucracy in Canada (another CBC). We would like to give your offices still another opportunity to address these issues; stated for a third time, the obvious lack of justice and reasonableness in some of the rules established by the Government of Canada, particularly Canada Customs.

We're certain that our members of parliament are as much interested in this matter as citizens are. You two gentleman are therefore invited to attend a public forum on these issues to be held here in Saskatoon. The details are as follows,

As you gentlemen are ultimately responsible for the departments in these areas of concern the invitation is extended to you, and you only. You need not inform the media of this event. By the time you receive this correspondence we will have done so. We look forward to seeing you at this very important forum.

Most respectfully,

Dr. Bern Johnston

P.S. For your convenience we are attaching this and all other correspondence to the following Internet web site: http://www.quadrant.net/ccbb/ Citizens wishing to discuss their experiences with Canada Customs may do so at this site.

Reply from Mr. Masse

Reply from Mr. Petrar

1324-14th St. E.
Saskatoon, SK
S7H 0A7

Nov. 20, 1996

To: Hon. Ralph Goodale
Federal Minister of Agriculture

Dear sir,

At a time when many Canadians are voicing their discontent with federal bureaucracies, and government in general, I'd like to take this opportunity to thank your department for the splendid service I recently received from Agriculture Canada. It was gratifying to experience first hand one of the thoughtful and efficient government services that citizens can say with pride was "Made In Canada". This was truly an event which underscores the legitimacy of taxation.

This summer I returned to Saskatchewan after finishing a two year teaching contract in Singapore. My personal effects were held in a local bonded warehouse until released by Canada Customs. While these goods were there, a representative of your department was informed that an insect was seen with my shipment. I was then told that I would have to have it fumigated before it could be released. I quietly questioned the value of this exercise because the shipment had already been opened for more than a week. Was it an imported bug or just a local insect which crept in during storage? However, as events unfolded it became clear that I was very wrong in questioning the wisdom of this directive.

At first I resented the complex problems experienced while trying to satisfy this requirement. The fumigation had to take place in an air-tight trailer. It was the end of the month and it was difficult to rent any trailer, especially one that would not let the fumigating gas escape. Of course rules required that several people had to be present at the fumigation and it was difficult to coordinate the arrival of each. On my first effort I rented a trailer but one of the required parties didn't show up, so I had to rent another trailer at a later date. There were also difficulties in securing a vehicle with a trailer hitch. These and other problems seemed insurmountable. In all I made several trips across town, made dozens of phone calls, labored for days, and spent $248.04 on fumigation costs, trailer rentals, etc. But as time would tell it was all worth it.

The second fumigation effort was successful. Fortunately this time everyone showed up. I arrived with a friend at the bonded warehouse where he and I loaded the shipment into the airtight trailer. My friend and I worked, the fumigator worked, the representative of the warehouse helped, and of course the representatives from Canada Agriculture and Canada Customs watched. It was a real cooperative effort.

Let's hope no jungle predators escaped from the shipment prior to the gassing. So far, and fortunately, there have been no reported sightings of pythons around Saskatoon. But, as required by your vigilant office, we gassed it anyway. Let's not take needless risks; we're Canadian. And indeed it was time, effort, and money well spent. While cleaning out the trailer I found it. There it was. A frighteningly evil, black, 4mm insect. Menacing even in death. Thank God your department has the intelligent and decisive policies to deal with threats of this magnitude.

When my trembling subsided, I removed the animal and had it identified by an entomologist who labeled it Lygus lineolaris; a bug native to Saskatchewan, one which spends much of its time lurking under soil and vegetation. Fortunately! I wouldn't even want to think of the possibility of a beast with a name like that, native or uncomfortably foreign, living in a shipping trunk in my garage. Not even part time.

It's a bug which eats plants, even some of our Saskatchewan crops. Think of the dire economic consequences if this single beast had lived on. One can easily visualize the barren fields of our once beautiful province. And what of the terrifying consequences if it had been a bug from the dark and forbidding equatorial rain forest. One which would warm up to our Saskatchewan winter, perhaps finding the experience pleasantly novel. Thanks to your department, I now sleep much more soundly.

Again I would like to thank your office for the exemplary service that Canadians have come to expect from their government. I hope your office will accept the enclosed gift as a token of my appreciation. It's a picture frame in which I've mounted the very same insect gassed under the directives of your department. Don't worry, it's dead. I entitled it "Lygus lineolaris - The $248.04 Bug". Please hang it proudly in a prominent place in your office as a reminder of the indispensable service given to a member of the Canadian public. I shall remain forever impressed by the efficient and frugal means by which your department has in this instance kept public servants gainfully employed while protecting citizens from the fearsome creatures of the underworld. Complaints of excessive government bureaucracy are clearly exaggerated. My congratulations to the bureaucrats in Ottawa. This taxpayer salutes you. Well done!

Most gratefully yours,

Dr. Bern Johnston

P.S. For your convenience this letter can also be found in the new CANADA CUSTOMS BITCH BOX web site at http://www.quadrant.net/ccbb/

1324-14th St. E.
Saskatoon, SK
S7H 0A7

Nov. 24, 1996

Tel: (306) 652-7598

E-mail: bernjohn@sk.sympatico.ca


To: Mr. D. Brackett
Director General
Canadian Wildlife Services

Right Hon. Jean Chretian
Prime Minister
Government of Canada

Mr. Allen Cocksedge
Assist. Deputy Minister
Customs Border Services Branch

Mr. R. Masse-Prouix
Appeals and Complaints Coordinator
Wildlife Division

Mr. B.J. Petrar
Special Investigations Coordinator
Environment Canada

Hon. Jane Stewart
Minister, Revenue Canada
Government of Canada

Dear madam and sirs,

Since my return to Canada this last summer I have had a number of very unpleasant experiences with my government and some of its various bureaucracies, especially Canada Customs. In the previous two years in Asia I experienced a total of 71 border crossings; not once did I have a problem. But I most certainly did on my return to my own country. So far - my bamboo blowpipe (a teaching aid) was confiscated until I rendered this "weapon" harmless by filling it with glue; the wadding, a plant material, used as an air seal behind the wooden darts was analyzed to determine if it contained any drugs; my entire shipment had to be fumigated because someone saw a "bug" in it (it was later determined to be a local insect); my coral specimens (also teaching aids) were confiscated; and last, my bearskin, a fur legally obtained in northern Saskatchewan, was confiscated. In the aggregate, the trouble caused to me by my own government was, and remains, staggering.

After my interview on CBC's "As It Happens" it became evident that many other Canadians also have complaints with the treatment they received at the hands of the Government of Canada, particularly Canada Customs and its sister bureaucracies. In response I and some locals formed a new website, CANADA CUSTOMS BITCH BOX, which is found at http://www.quadrant.net/ccbb/ If you people in government won't do anything about the contemptible bureaucratic treatment given to citizens then we'll take action ourselves.

Now to the point of this letter - the confiscation of my bearskin. In past correspondences I have offered what I am sure is abundant documentary proof of my legitimate ownership of this fur. Should it be confiscated? When apparently thousands of illegally obtained bear parts are smuggled out of our country, why should a legally obtained bear part be prohibited from returning to its country of origin? I am NOT looking for still another bureaucratic explanation regarding the rules. This is no longer a legal question; its a moral question. Should my legally obtained bear skin be taken from me? Don't hide behind the rules again. Come out and answer this ethical question forthrightly - should my legally obtained fur be taken from me? A friend suggested that there isn't a bureaucrat in Ottawa with "the balls" to answer this question. Well, we'll see. Please answer the ethical question - should my legally obtained fur be taken from me? If not, then why is it being confiscated?

I'd like all of you to answer this question, and I'll keep asking it until you answer it. This letter, and your responses to it, will be placed in the CANADA CUSTOMS BITCH BOX website along with all other relevant materials I've sent and received.

Thank you for what I hope will be your immediate and honest responses.


Gratefully yours,



Dr. Bern Johnston

c.c. - Hon. Chris Axworthy (NDP) MP
- Hon. Georgette Sheridan (Lib) MP
- Other Federal Members of Parliament
- The media